


Take My Hand

by capn_cecil_ang



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Billy Hargrove Lives, Canon Relationships & Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Feelings Implied, Feelings Realization, Gen, Hurt Billy Hargrove, M/M, Multi, Post Season 3, Prompt Fill, Soft Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capn_cecil_ang/pseuds/capn_cecil_ang
Summary: Four months after The Battle of Starcourt, Steve Harrington discovers a secret Max and her family tries to hide.What starts as a curiosity voyage grows into more when Steve realizes he might be harboring feelings for the most unexpected person.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AryaFT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AryaFT/gifts).



> T rating is because of the swearing. The story itself is very Gen.

Steve’s car stops in front of the one-story house on Old Cherry Road. The moment the vehicle comes to a halt, Lucas jumps out of the back seat and runs towards the house. The spurs on his boots clank with every step, echoing in the quietness of October night. His long beige coat is flaying behind him like a Superman’s cape as Lucas runs up the stairs and halts at the front door. Steve watches him banging on them, and he shakes his head.

“Can you remind me once again why I’m doing this?” he asks, glancing towards Dustin in the passenger seat.

Dustin turns his head towards him, tucking at the red scarf that hangs around his neck. “Because. You’re my friend. And Lucas is _my_ friend. Which makes him your friend too.”

Steve rolls his eyes, his gaze shifting towards the house again.

“Besides, you have it on your way,” Dustin adds.

“I really don’t.”

“Alright then,” Dustin throws his hands in defeat, “you’re doing us a favor.”

“Yeah. Favor usually means you owe me one too. But I never seem to get any favors from you, guys,” Steve says, his eyes fixed on the house.

“All in due time, Steve, all in due time,” Dustin says, then turns his head back to the house. “Hold on. She’s coming out,” he says, his voice filled with excitement. “I can’t believe Lucas persuaded her to put on that costume.”

Steve shakes his head again, a half-smile forming on his lips. He’s going to miss these kids one day. When they’ll grow up, and their paths will divide. But now, he can still begrudgingly enjoy their weird company. 

Max opens the front door, her body dressed in the costume of a horse. She’s holding the head under her arms, giving Lucas a stern glare. Steve can’t hear what she’s saying, but she’s not 100% okay with this setup, judging by her expression. 

_I miss Halloween_ , Steve thinks, remembering when he used to go trick or treat with his own friends. He even misses the Halloween parties he used to attend when he was older. He’s pretty sure there’s definitely a party or two tonight somewhere. But it would look super creepy if he showed up at the high school party now. He graduated a year ago, after all. He should be somewhere in college, putting a degree to his name. Instead, he’s still working in that local video rental store with Robin, trying to scramble some money. It beats scooping ice-cream at the mall controlled by evil Russians, though.

As Steve ruminates about his life’s decisions, he sees something out of the corner of his eye. His gaze shifts, focusing on one of the windows of the house. It’s the window furthest from them, completely cloaked in the darkness. But a few seconds ago, Steve could swear he saw a flicker of light there. As if someone was peeking through the curtains at them. Someone who didn’t want to be seen.

“That’s bullshit,” Steve says, more to himself than anyone else. The whole Halloween night vibe must be getting in his head.

“What was that?” Dustin asks, turning his attention back to him.

“What? Nothing.” Steve shakes his head. He’s filled with relief when Lucas and Max come strolling down the path and get in the car.

Max slams the door with the force that indicates her mood immediately. When Steve looks at her in the rearview mirror, he can see she’s puffing, her face almost as red as her hair. Lucas has an apologetic expression, one that Steve saw way too many times since he started dating Max.

“Max, I swear to you, if there was a love interest in that movie for Mal, you’d be it. But there isn’t. So who else would you be then?” Lucas says, his voice on edge.

“What about one of the guys, then?” Max snaps at him, crossing her hands at her chest. “There’s only three of you anyway, with Will’s gone. I could be the fourth one.”

“Well... it’s… kind of late for it, isn’t it?” Lucas says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Steve grins, musing about his own former teenage squabbles for a moment.

“Alright then,” he says after that, meeting his eyes with Max. “When’s your curfew?”

“I don’t have one,” she replies. “Mom and Dad are away for the long weekend. “They won’t be coming back until Sunday.”

“You sure about that?” Steve frowns, turning around to face her. “I could swear I saw someone in the window over there.”

Dustin gasps immediately, turning around too. “Max, you have a ghost.”

“What? No,” Max looks at Dustin, shaking her head in disbelief. Then her eyes fall on Steve, her expression less assured. “It was nothing. You must have imagined it, Steve.”

Steve’s not satisfied with this explanation, but he’s also not 100% sure he saw something move. So, ghost or not, it’s a problem for another time. He turns around again and starts the car, leaving the Hargrove’s premises. 

It’s six hours later when Steve is driving back home from his evening shift. As he was expecting, the shift sucked. With being Halloween, everyone was trick or treating or partying. There were only three customers during the night. And since he was there all alone, the time moved at a snail’s pace. And not having much to do made Steve think about stuff. And one thing he kept coming back to was that moving curtain in Max’s house. Obviously, he knew it wasn’t a ghost. Or an alien. Steve experienced some bizarre shit in the last few years. So he thought he had a decent sense of paranormal now. Yet still, something wasn’t sitting right with what he saw, or what he thought he saw, earlier that night.

And so, when the time comes to close the store, Steve finds himself making a detour on his way back home. As he closes in on Max’s house, he slows down, looking out of the window. He’s not sure what he expects to find, but something tells him there’s more to it than Max said.

When the light in the house goes on, Steve hits the breaks with full force, his car coming to an abrupt stop. Luckily no one else is on the road behind him; otherwise, this could cause a nasty collision. Getting rid of his initial shock, Steve turns on the engine again and parks the car off the road. It’s far enough, so no other car could hit him if it passed by. And close enough to see the house with ease. The chilliness of late October night seeps through the windows immediately, making Steve shiver. But he doesn’t turn on the engine again to warm the car up. He stays quiet, observing the house and lights in it.

_It could be burglars._ He thinks, and he almost steps out of the car and takes action. But then he looks around, looking for a vehicle they could have arrived with. All he sees is Billy’s car, still damaged from how Steve T-boned it in front of the mall last summer. An unexpected tightness encloses Steve’s chest. _He never had a chance to fix it._

His thoughts are brought back to the burglars then, deciding how possible it would be. _If someone was robbing them, they wouldn’t turn on the light, right?_ And just as he thinks that, the light goes off. Steve’s stomach knots, and his breath hitches in his throat as he observes the house. _Or it is burglars, and they just saw me._ He isn’t able to move, and he’s barely breathing. Is he as inconspicuous as he thinks he is?

The house is dark and quiet now. And Steve starts to consider whether he imagined the light, too. But then his eyes land on that curtain in the far right window again. And he’s sure now, the curtain moves. There’s no light in the room. But as Steve strains his eyes, trying to focus, he could swear he sees a figure standing in the window. Someone’s definitely in the house.

Steve gulps a lump that forms in his throat, gripping the wheel tight. _What should I do?_ Calculating his options, he sees three outcomes of this. First, it really is a ghost, and that means Steve’s already screwed. Second, it’s the burglar, and he could go in and fight him. But given his luck in the fights, he’s not sure he’d come out of that fight a winner either. Plus, there could be more than one. Third, he can go to the nearest phone booth and call the police. But what if it’s Max’s mom or dad coming from their trip earlier? They wouldn’t appreciate police showing up at their doorstep in the middle of the night.

So Steve sits in his car for another minute or two, thinking of his options. As he looks to the window, he sees the curtain is drawn again. _I know I didn’t imagine it. There was someone there._

He lets out a deep sigh, running his hand through his hair. _Alright. Max is sleeping at Sinclair’s tonight, so she’s not going home, anyway. I can come back again tomorrow and check it during the daytime._ Deciding this is the best course of action, Steve turns on the engine again and leaves the place behind. That night it takes him a lot of time before he finally drifts off to sleep.

******

Steve’s luck is on his side the next day because none other than Lucas and Max walk into the store in the late afternoon. When he sees them skimming through the store’s sci-fi section, he walks right to them and asks Max to talk to him. She gives him a weirded out look, asking why.

“I need to talk to you,” Steve says, giving her a meaningful glance, “about your ghost situation.”

“What ghost situation?” Max and Lucas say in unison, looking at Steve as if he had antennas on his head. Steve sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Just... give me two minutes, Max. It’s important.”

Max looks at Lucas, who shrugs, and she rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she says. “But,” she turns towards Lucas, “don’t pick anything gross, alright?”

“Fine, fine,” Lucas says, only half-listening to her, as he’s already reading a label on one of the movie booklets.

Steve and Max make their way towards the counter and into the back, far from any eavesdropping ears.

“So, what’s with the ghosts?” she asks as soon as they are in the back room.

“Listen, Max,” Steve says, his voice urgent. “This is going to sound nuts. But I drove by your house last night, and someone was inside. And… I swear I saw someone looking out at the window at me.”

“So you think we have a ghost?” Max huffs a laugh, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not saying it’s a ghost.” Steve sighs. “I’m saying… you said your parents aren’t home, so… I don’t know… did anything gone missing when you came home today?”

Max gives him an unreadable look, and she’s quiet for a moment. “No.”

“Then, who was at your house last night?”

“You’ve probably imagined it,” she says, turning around to leave, but Steve’s words stop her.

“Whose room is the one on the right? The one drawn with the curtains?”

She turns back to look at Steve again, her glance hard.

“It’s the only room in your house with a thick curtain, Max. And I haven’t imagined it.” Steve insists, giving her a pleading look. “Someone was in that room, watching me from the shadows. Whose room is it?”

“No one’s,” Max replies, her glance unwavering.

“Max,” Steve reaches out to her but retracts his hand right away. He doesn’t know her that well and pulling her behind the counter already can seem suspicious. He doesn’t need her to start screaming or something.

“It must have been a trick of the light, Steve. Don’t worry about it.”

With that, she leaves and joins Lucas at the front of the store.

******

Even though Steve wants to forget about the whole incident with Max’s house, he can’t. The memory of a silhouette watching him from the darkness of the room keeps coming back. But the most peculiar thing about it is that Steve never felt a threat of that shadowy person watching him. All he felt was curiosity. Who was he and what was he doing in Max’s house?

And so Steve finds himself driving past Max’s house again that evening. This time he makes sure to park further, so no unwanted eyes would see him. As he knows, Max is spending the night at Sinclair’s again, the kids having a movie night. Dustin invited him to come, but Steve declined. He knew other party members would think it’s weird, having him there. And if they didn’t, Lucas’s parents definitely would. Besides, he already has different plans. And this time, he comes prepared. 

As Steve parks his car near the woods, he zips up his jacket to not let the autumn air chill him. Then he pulls out the binoculars and looks at the house. It’s silent and dark again, seemingly empty. And Steve would believe it was if he didn’t know better. He has an urge to come up to the front door and knock, see what would happen. But if the person in the house is hiding, Steve doubts he’d come and open the door. So he waits and watches for any change. 

Some time passes, and Steve dozes off once or twice, but nothing ever changes. The house is still the same picture of stillness as it was the moment he arrived. He checks his watches and sees it’s almost eleven o’clock.

“Yeah, I should pack this up,” he says to himself, looking at the house one last time. 

Steve is about to turn away, putting the binoculars to the side, when he hears a faint sound of the door opening. Quickly, he sets the binoculars to his eyes and aims them at the house. A figure in the leather jacket steps out, its head bowed down. He wears a hoodie under his jacket, his face hidden under it.

“I knew it,” Steve says under his breath as he watches the figure walk towards the road. He looks around and walks off, disappearing into the woods.

“Shit,” Steve swears, thinking of his options. He could leave and come back tomorrow. But there’s no guarantee this person would come out again. And what if tomorrow Max will be home? What if someone sees him? Cursing again, Steve opens the door and walks out of the car.

“It’s now or never,” he says, his curiosity winning over common sense.

Steve rushes to the place where the figure disappeared a minute ago, trying to retrace his steps. He scans the surroundings, thinking one last time, whether this is a good idea. If he thought about it for another minute, he might have figured out it wasn’t. But if there’s anything Steve learned from Dustin in their time spent together, it’s to never let the curiosity doors close. 

Fifteen minutes later, Steve is aimlessly wandering the dark woods. He lost track of the mystery man, and he has a bad feeling he lost track of the path. Never leaving a curiosity door close is a good idea. But one should better prepare himself for a curiosity journey next time.

A branch snaps into Steve’s face, and he ducks in time for it to not slash at his face. As he does it, he ends up falling on his ass, right into the wet mushy leaves.

“Son of a…” Steve sighs, scrambling himself from the ground. Looking around the forest, he tries to identify the path he came from.

“Great,” he murmurs, coming to the conclusion that he lost the way back to the car. Getting lost in the woods at the beginning of November isn’t the best idea in Steve’s book. So he turns around and decides to retrace his steps back to the car.

It takes him another half an hour to find the road again. And when he does, he’s completely given up on his adventure. Screw the mystery man, whoever he is. It could be a Russian spy for all I care. I just want to go home and take a long, hot shower. And so Steve does as he desires to, leaving the mystery behind and closing the curiosity door. At least for now.

******

Even though Steve tries to forget his unsuccessful adventure, the thought of the enigmatic resident is still in the back of his mind. And the worst is, he can’t talk about it with anyone. He knows if he told Dustin, he’d tell the others. And something that could be a little misunderstanding could turn into another conspiration real quick. Only if he knew who he was. And why were Hargrove’s hiding someone in their home in the first place? 

Two weeks go by, autumn gradually changing into winter. The chillier wind starts to blow, and the first signs of snow fall on the ground. Steve is reminded of Hargrove’s little secret every time he sees Max. She’s doing her best to ignore him most of the time, perhaps afraid he would bring up the topic again. And Steve’s tempted to. But he knows Max won’t tell him anything. Not until he’ll have proof in his hands.

And so on the night of 23rd November, Steve finds himself parked in the shadows of the woods nearby Hargrove’s house. It’s not the first time he scouts there again. But it’s the first night when the mysterious figure emerges again. Max’s parents are away - it occurs to Steve that they’re leaving Max alone often - and Max is alone in the house. Or so it seems. The house is lit all around except that one room in the far right. He can hear the TV, muffled by the distance and windows. And then it happens. The front door opens, and a figure in dark clothes steps out. Steve can hear Max shouting: “You’re going out again?”

But the figure doesn’t respond. Just closes the door and makes his way down the path to the road and into the woods. Steve waits whether Max will come out too, but when she doesn’t, he grabs his supplies and steps out of the car.

He closes the door and looks out to the woods, taking a deep breath. Binoculars are swinging on his neck, a flashlight in his right hand. Steve zips up his jacket up to his neck, putting on the gloves and a scarf.

“Alright. This time, I’m not backing down,” Steve says under his breath and steps out towards the coldness of the night.

This time the luck is standing on Steve’s side because tonight, he manages to follow the mysterious figure all the way to the old junkyard. Steve shudders when he sees the junkyard. When he was there the last time, he was almost eaten by demodogs.

He scans the surroundings out of instinct, even though he knows all demodogs are dead or back in the Upside Down. When he’s sure there’s no imminent danger lurking in the shadows, he lets his eyes fall on the mysterious figure again. The man sits on the top of the bus, his legs hanging in the air.

_What the hell?_ Steve thinks. _This is what he’s doing here? Just sitting around?_

Soon the man pulls something out of his pocket, and Steve’s hands reach for the binoculars. He looks through it, observing the man in the hoodie. His head is down, so he can’t see his face, but few light brown curls are peeking out, raising Steve’s suspicion. _It can’t be._ He thinks as he watches the man light a cigarette between his lips. The lighter illuminates his face for a moment, giving Steve a brief look at it.

“No way,” Steve frowns, putting the binoculars away. He tries to move forward to get a better view. There’s a need to confirm what he just saw. But as Steve moves, he kicks into a rusty piece of metal, making a loud clanking noise that alerts the man on the bus.

All of a sudden he’s up, shouting into the night: “Who’s there?”

“Shit,” Steve swears, ducking to hide. He only results in making another noise, bumping into another metallic garbage.

“I said, who’s there?” Steve can hear a voice again, and then loud noises as the guy make his way down from the bus.

Steve is frozen in place, stunned by the discovery he made. Not sure what to do, he kneels on the ground, thinking. The steps are closing in on him, and when the guy shouts again, his voice is much closer.

“Come on out, you coward!”

He sounds angry, Steve thinks, and knows he has no other choice. He embraces the expectation of getting beaten again and stands up from his hiding place.

“Hey,” he says, but before he can get anything else out, strong hands grab him by the collar, pulling him forward.

Before Steve blinks again, he’s lying on the cold hard ground, Billy Hargrove bending over him, gripping him tight by his collar.

“Harrington?” Billy looks at him in disbelief, as if Steve is the one who is supposed to be dead. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Steve realizes he grabbed Billy’s wrist in defense, and he lets go of him now, showing his open palms as a sign of resignation. “I come in peace. I swear.”

Billy snarls at him, baring his teeth a little. And for a moment, Steve thinks he is going to beat him bloody. But when the light from the moon illuminates his face, Steve sees his eyes are different. There’s still anger in them. But there’s also hurt and defeat. And at that moment, Steve knows this boy is far from the bully he once knew.

Despite that, Billy seems to want to keep the facade on. He shakes Steve a little, his face contorting in a disgusted expression. “Get the fuck out of here, Harrington,” Billy says, throwing Steve back onto the ground.

He straightens up, making a few steps away from Steve.

Steve stands up, dusting himself off. “What… how are you alive?” he asks, once again his curiosity winning over common sense.

“None of your damn business,” Billy says, his back turned towards him. Billy pulls down his hood, revealing a lot shorter hair Steve remembers him by. There’s a scar on the back of his neck, one that Steve also doesn’t remember from before.

“You… you were dead,” Steve says, gaping at Billy. “I saw you die. You were dead.”

Billy’s shoulders shake, and he lets out a guttural, broken laugh. “Mostly dead, Harrington,” he says, with emphasis on every word. Then he turns back to Steve, his bloodshot eyes observing him.

Steve can see that it’s Billy Hargrove standing in front of him. But he’s so far from the self-assured, angry bully he knew before that Steve can’t quite believe his own eyes.

“How?” Steve asks, not able to find other words.

“Doesn’t matter,” Billy replies, averting his eyes from Steve. He makes a few steps away, turning his back towards him again.

“Billy,” Steve says, but Billy interrupts him, his voice filled with anger.

“WHAT?” he barks. “What do you want, Harrington? What is there _you_ can possibly want from me?”

“I,” Steve gapes, at a loss of words. “I don’t…”

“I saw you watching the house on Halloween,” Billy says, closing in on Steve again. “What did you think you’d find?” he says, pointing his index finger at Steve.

Taking another step closer, his other hand forms into a fist. Steve instinctively plants his feet to prepare for a hit. But then Billy stops, and Steve realizes his hands are shaking. And not just his hands. Billy is trembling like a leaf, his expression far from angry.

“Well, now you know,” he says, sending Steve a fake smile. “You figured it all out, don’t you?” he turns around again, and just before he does, Steve thinks he can see tears forming in his eyes.

“Yes. I’m alive. Though I’d rather they left me for dead.”

Steve is staring at Billy’s back, trying to comprehend everything that’s going on right now.

“Just go,” Billy says, his voice on edge. He turns his head towards Steve slightly, his profile reflecting the moon’s light. “Just... leave me alone. Please.”

Billy’s words leave a sorrowful sting in Steve’s heart, and he realizes he feels sorry for the other boy. They’ve never been friends in the first place. But Steve wouldn’t wish something like this even to his worst enemy.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers, turning around. He stumbles on the bucket lying on the ground, making another clanking noise.

“Shit,” he swears and glances back, noticing Billy is looking at him again. The amount of hurt in his eyes is heartbreaking to Steve, something he never thought he’d feel for the other boy. But he doesn’t know how to help him. So he does what Billy asks and leaves. 

Steve thinks about Billy on the entire way back towards his car, and long after he makes his way home. He tries to play scenarios in his mind. Tries to figure out how Billy may be alive. One thing he knows for sure. He needs to talk to Max again. 

******

Figuring out the way to talk to Max is more intricate than Steve thought it would be. He lets go of the idea of waiting for her at school right away. Too creepy. Obviously, he can’t show at her doorstep either. And lately, they don’t seem to visit the rental store so much.

Steve thinks about planning a meeting through Dustin or Lucas, but he knows it would be tricky. He can’t come up with a convincing reason why Max would agree to meet him in the first place. Not without telling the truth. And if Dustin and Lucas would know the truth, then too many people would know it. In the end, Steve pries from Dustin, the usual designated place of their hangouts. And then, during one of their Sunday lunch breaks, Steve apologizes to Robin for ditching her and heads towards the arcade.

As he walks into the building, he immediately sees Max and Lucas playing on one of the machines. He makes his way towards them and repeats the whole dance from the month ago.

“Max, I really need to speak with you… in private,” Steve says, begging the redhead for what feels like the fifth time.

“And I told you I don’t care. Leave me alone,” Max says, raising her voice a bit. A few of the residents look around, curious about the commotion. Steve tries to disarm them with the most innocent smile, succeeding at some, failing at others. Then he turns back to Max, trying one last time.

“Look, Max. I know,” he gives her a meaningful look, trying to convey what he can’t with his words. “I know about the resident of the hidden room.”

“What the hell?” Lucas stares at him like he’s crazy, and Steve feels like he might be.

But Max seems to understand, her eyes going wide. “How?” she says, her lips forming into a thin line. Then she glances at Lucas, gaping. “Uhm, Lucas. I uh… I’m sorry. I’ve got to go now. Sorry.”

And with no other words, she grabs Steve’s jacket and drags him out of the arcade, leaving stunned Lucas behind.   
They stop in the alleyway behind the arcade, Max gesturing furiously.

“You can’t tell anyone!” she says, her eyes wide with fear.

“I know. I won’t,” Steve says, throwing his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Look, I… I don’t even know how or why… but… I don’t know… I… I saw him at the junkyard a few weeks back. And he’s…”

“Different,” Max adds, her voice softening alongside her expression. “Yeah.”

Steve sits down on one of the wooden pallets. Max lets out a resigning sigh, sitting next to him.

“We all thought he was dead,” she starts, her voice low and filled with sadness. “When the army came, they dragged him out under the white cover. We’ve… I’ve mourned him. But… three months later… they called us.”

Max inhales a sharp breath, steadying her voice. “They told us they saved him. It… took a lot of time and resources. I don’t even know why they bothered.”

She shrugs, wiping away tears that formed in the corner of her eyes. “I think, maybe, they thought they could study him, you know since he was a host and everything. But… it seems like whatever was inside him before is now gone. So they let him go. They… returned him to us.”

She looks up at Steve, her eyes urging. “But they told us we need to keep him hidden. People think he died. They can’t know he came back to life.”

Steve nods, trying to wrap his head around the whole situation. “How’s he doing?” he asks, curious about Billy’s state. The haunting image of Billy’s sorrowful bloodshot eyes never left him, no matter how hard he tried to forget.

“He’s… quiet,” Max says, her eyes looking up to Steve again. “Different. He’s sitting around in his room all day. Doesn’t really speak to anyone.”

She shrugs again, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. “And then at nights… he’s going to the junkyard. I’ve followed him there once. He’s… just sitting there, smoking cigarettes, and listening to the music. It’s like he wants to be alone. Away from everyone. And I’m…” her voice shakes, a lonely tear rolling down her cheek. “I’m afraid that one day he won’t come back, Steve.”

More tears start falling from Max’s eyes and Steve’s first instinct is to pull her into a hug and comfort her. To his own surprise, she doesn’t pull away but leans in instead, sobbing into his jacket. And Steve can’t help but think about Billy again.

******

It is Tuesday evening, the last day of 1985, and Steve just said goodbye to Robin as they close the rental store. He doesn’t have any plans for tonight, no big parties full of alcohol and chicks. His parents went for a skiing trip to the mountains, leaving him alone on New Year’s Eve. And since Steve has nowhere else to be, he starts his car and drives.

The music is faintly playing in the background, and Steve is only half-listening to the songs. His mind is preoccupied with something else. In fact, it’s preoccupied with someone. He can still hear Max’s words in his head, even more than a month later. “I’m afraid that one day he won’t come back.”

_Does she think he might hurt himself?_ Steve muses as he makes a left turn. He’s hardly paying attention to where he’s going, just following the road. _Or maybe he packs up and leaves._ _Start a new life—runaway from his past._ Steve wonders how it would feel. To pack up and leave. And he tries to decide whether he could do it. After all, what is holding him here? A low-paying job with zero career prospects? Or a bunch of teenagers who soon will grow up and start their own lives? Maybe going away wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

It seems like Steve’s thoughts aren’t the only thing that is pulling him towards Billy. Because when Steve finally parks his car, he realizes he’s at the old junkyard. He stops the engine and sits there for a minute, looking out of his front window. Billy is sitting on the old rusty bus, a lit cigarette between his lips. Steve’s breath hitches as he observes him, unsure of the reaction he’s going to get. But deep down, Steve doesn’t want to be alone on the New Year. And so he steps out of the car and makes his way towards the bus.

“What are you doing here, Harrington?” Billy asks once Steve is close enough to hear him.

“I never told you?” Steve says, putting up a brave face. “I’m always spending my New Year’s Eves at the junkyard.” He motions towards the sky, giving Billy a half-grin. “Best seats in the house.”

Billy is quiet, taking out the cigarette and puffing a small cloud of smoke in front of him.

“And I was thinking,” Steve says, less assured than before. “That maybe you also don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Billy gives him a long stretched-out look that Steve can’t quite decipher. Then he draws on his cigarette again, putting it out on the roof of the bus.

“Whatever,” he murmurs, averting his gaze from Steve.

_Well, that wasn’t a hard no, so…_ Steve shrugs and makes his way up to Billy, sitting next to him. He’s careful to sit far enough for him to feel comfortable and stares into the distance.

They don’t talk much. At one point, Billy offers Steve a cigarette, but Steve refuses it. Then Billy turns on his Walkman, turning the volume all the way up, so they can both hear faint tones of the music from the headphones. He puts it between them, the music the only thing piercing through the quietness of the winter evening. 

When the fireworks start, they both look at the sky in awe, watching the mesmerizing performance. It might not be the best seats in the house, but Steve has to admit, the view isn’t half that bad. After the fireworks disappear, though, Steve starts to notice how cold it is up here. He shivers and blows in his hands to warm them up, rubbing his shoulders with his palms then.

“It’s cold up here, isn’t it?” he says, trying to strike up the conversation again. Billy doesn’t respond, though, the small nod of his head the only sign he even heard Steve.

“I uh,” Steve says then, mulling over his words in his head. “I think I’d better go. I don’t want to freeze to death here. Do you, uh… do you want a ride?”

Billy’s head turns towards him slowly, his eyes hollow and dull. Steve’s heart aches at sight, his mind swirling again. _What horrors Billy must have gone through, that would change him like this?_ He pushes the images away, waiting for Billy’s response.

Billy nods again, almost imperceivable motion, and stands up from his spot. Steve stays seated for a moment, only watching Billy as he descends from the bus to the ground. He still can’t quite fathom the change this guy went through. But the instinct of protectiveness, the same he felt with Max, returns. And at that moment, Steve wants to do everything that is in his strength to help Billy ease back into the life he once had. If that’s even possible. 

The ride back to Hargrove’s house is quiet, none of them speaking a word. Billy doesn’t want to communicate, and Steve gives up on trying to hold a one-sided conversation. Unsure whether Billy’s parents are home, Steve parks the car a bit further from the house. He is uncertain whether Billy wants his parent to know they were together, so he plays it safe.

As he stops, he expects Billy to get out of the car immediately and leave without a word. But Billy stays seated, looking out through the windshield at his house. The silence stretches between them, and Steve isn’t sure what to do. Then Billy reaches towards the door handle and pulls it, creaking the door open. The coldness of the early January night drags into the car, pinching Steve’s cheeks. Billy turns towards him one last time, his gaze not quite meeting Steve’s eyes.

“If you want again, I guess you can come to the junkyard sometimes, Steve,” Billy says, his voice low and unsure. After that, he turns around and gets out of the car, shutting the door behind him.

Steve sits in the car, watching Billy until he disappears into his house. Then he starts the motor again and drives into the new year with a heavy heart. 

******

The heat of the summer sun is warming up Steve’s skin as he’s sitting in one of the chairs in front of the ice-cream parlor. He stares into the distance, deep in thoughts, when Robin’s voice sounds from behind him.

“I never thought I’d enjoy ice-cream again without having flashbacks to last summer.”

She flops on the chair next to Steve and hands him a cone of the refreshing blueberry treat.

“Thanks,” Steve murmurs and takes the ice-cream from her.

“Hey, everything’s okay?” Robin asks, her brows creasing into a slight frown. “You seem distant.”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” Steve waves her off, licking on his ice-cream. “Actually, no. There is this thing…” he looks at her, her expression curious and expecting. “No, nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“Oh, come on. How stupid can it be?” Robin says, sending him a gentle smile. “You know you can tell me everything. No secrets, remember?”

“Right, no secrets,” Steve says, shifting on the chair nervously. He glances around them, checking if anyone is in hearing distance. Even though it’s a late afternoon on a sunny Saturday, not many people are at the newly open ice-cream parlor. Good for him anyway.

“Alright, so, this is gonna sound weird, so… promise you won’t laugh,” Steve says, still unsure whether he should confess. But who else could give him advice in this, if not Robin?

“Ooh, sounds interesting.” She draws her leg up on the chair, turning to face him better. “I’m all ears.”

Steve looks around again, then returns her gaze to his friend. He leans forward and clears his throat before he speaks in a low voice. “So, I was wondering. When you discovered you… you know, like girls… how did you know?”

Robin seems to be taken aback for a moment, blinking a few times. Her ice-cream is tawing in the heat of July’s sun, threatening to spill over her fingers. But she seems to notice in time to prevent it from doing a stainy damage. Steve remembers his own ice-cream and licks it a few times to avoid the same accident.

“I uh… I just knew,” Robin says then, shrugging. “You know when you know, really.”

“Right,” Steve nods, biting his lower lip.

“Wait. Why are you asking me this?” Robin asks, raising her eyebrows. Steve sends her a bewildered look, and her eyes widen in realization.

“Do you have a boy crush, Steve?” she asks in a hushed, excited voice.

“I… don’t know,” Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Who is it?” Robin asks, unhidden excitement in her voice.

“I can’t tell you. It’s… complicated.” Steve says, feeling a bit bad that he has to lie to her.

“Well, tell me at least this. Does he like you back?” A soft smile is playing on her lips.

Steve averts his eyes, feeling a blush creeping to his cheeks. “I don’t know. I mean, we’ve been meeting pretty regularly for the past half a year. But… we’ve never done anything, you know.”

“Huh. You really do like him, don’t you?” Robin asks, her eyes soft and understanding.

“I just… I don’t know,” Steve shrugs, rubbing his elbow. “It’s weird cause I know him for a while. And I never liked him. In fact, I thought he was a dick. But... he went away for a while. And now that he’s back… he’s different. I… I think I care about this new version of him.”

“Well,” Robin says, licking her ice-cream again and lounging in her seat. “When you’ll know, you’ll know. It’s not rocket science, Steve, really.”

Steve smiles, watching her turning her face towards the sun and closing her eyes. “Yeah, well, that might’ve made it easier.” 

******

“Hey, Billy,” Steve says as he climbs up the ladder to the roof of an old bus, making his way to sit next to the other guy.

Billy puts down his headphones and looks at Steve, a small smile on his lips. “Hey, Steve. Good to see you again.”

“Whatcha listening to today?” Steve asks as he sits down next to Billy.

Billy’s eyes flash with panic, reaching for his Walkman to put it away from Steve’s reach. But Steve is quicker than him. He grabs the Walkman along with the headphones and turns the volume all the way up. When the wacky tune sounds, Steve can’t help but throw his head back and snorts.

“Really, dude? Weird Al?”

“Shut up, Harrington,” Billy says, snatching the Walkman away from him. But a small smile plays on his lips, one that makes Steve’s stomach do a flip. _Shit._ Steve thinks, cursing his body reactions. 

That day they hang around the junkyard until late at night. They drink the Cola Steve brought with him, and when they empty the cans, they set them on the ground. Competing who will throw down most cans with rocks, they laugh and jump around the roof of the bus. Steve wins by one point, making an exaggerated victory dance, one that sends both of them into the fits of laughter.

It’s moments like these that Steve enjoys the most. Moments when he can make Billy laugh and make him forget his troubles, even if only for a fleeting moment. But then, as always, that shadow in Billy’s eyes comes creeping back, clouding them in regret and shame.

The sun has already set when two boys are still sitting on the bus, enjoying each other’s company.

“Hey, whatcha thinking about?” Steve asks when Billy falls quiet for a long time again, looking into the distance.

“I was thinking about the beach,” Billy says, his eyes fixed on the horizon of the summer night. “Have you ever been to a beach, Steve?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Steve shakes his head.

Billy closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath before speaking again. “I miss it; the saltiness of the water, the freshness of the wind. It was peaceful... simple... water had this effect of washing away all the problems. When I was on the board, none of my problems existed, you know. My parents weren’t fighting; dad wasn’t an asshole. For that small fragment of time, I was free.”

Then he opens his eyes again, and they land on Steve. There are unmistakable tears in Billy’s eyes as he searches Steve’s face for the longest of time.

“I never felt free since that,” he says then, his voice breaking. “I just... want to taste the ocean’s water one last time, Steve. Even if it was the last thing, I ever do.”

Steve isn’t sure what drives him to say that. The idea is utterly insane. But at that moment, it seems so right. “So let’s go,” he says.

“What?” Billy frowns.

“Let’s go to the beach. Just me and you.” Steve adds, starting to think maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

“That’s... insane.” Billy protests, though, shaking his head. “The nearest beach is a hundred miles away from here.”

“I don’t care,” Steve says, feeling the lightness in his chest just from talking about the possibility. “I have some money saved... from Scoops Ahoy! And from the rental job. I just... let me do this for you, Billy.”

Billy frowns, even more, his eyes searching Steve’s again. He’s quiet for a long time, and when he speaks, his voice is soft. “But... why? Why would you do that, Steve?”

A thought crosses Steve’s mind. An idea wondering when was the last time someone did something nice for Billy.

“Because...” he says, a soft smile playing on his lips. “It’s what you do for people you care about.”

******

Billy is standing in Ocean City’s salty water, his legs submerged up to his knees. The air is fresh and pungent, just like he remembers it. His eyes are closed, his shirt lifting in the wind. The wind is playing with his hair, gently tousling and caressing them. Billy forgot that feeling, only now remembering how good it feels. The sun is just rising, and he feels the early rays tickling his skin. A smile appears on his lips, one he didn’t even notice was forming.

“So. How is it?” Steve’s voice asks from behind him, a soft reminder of his company.

Billy hears the water splashing as Steve moves to stand next to him. He opens his eyes and peeks at Steve. The morning sun’s rays are falling on him, giving his features an ethereal quality.

Billy’s smile grows wider, showing off his teeth. “It’s perfect, Steve. Thank you.”

Steve averts his eyes, looking into the sun. “Yeah. It is, isn’t it?”

Billy’s eyes are still on Steve, and if Steve looked at him at that moment, he would see the sparkle of life igniting in them again. But he doesn’t. So when Billy’s hand finds its way into Steve’s, it takes him by surprise for a split of a second. The feeling is soon exchanged for a different, warmer one, as Steve wraps his hand around Billy’s, entwining their fingers. 

It’s truly the moment of freedom. The moment when two young boys watch the sun coming up on the East coast. And Steve knows that in this fleeting moment, they are free to be who they really are.

**Author's Note:**

> The Halloween costumes at the beginning are inspired by the movie Silverado (1985).


End file.
